Beating the three little pigs

I spotted three giant pigs, a giant heart and a guy in a full blue bodysuit (and I mean full – it even covered his face) at the start of my half marathon this morning.
I offered a silent prayer to the patron saint of marathons that at least I would beat the pigs, the heart and the guy in the full blue bodysuit (seriously, how did he see?). I know a woman who was beaten by a giant Womble in the London Marathon. She never got over it.
I berated myself for not thinking of fancy dress myself. “Oh, yes well I would have placed, but carrying the light sabre slowed me down.”
I had planned to start off slow but I couldn’t deal with having giant pigs in front of me so I sped up to get past them. The full blue bodysuit man was long gone but I decided he was a character from Avatar and there’s no shame in being beaten by a Na'vi (I mean they can tap into that giant tree full of endless energy after all).
Unfortunately, as we made our way along the harbour-side cyclepath my early faster pace took its toll and I was overtaken by a walker. It wasn’t my nemesis (see Things I love about running) but a younger man, even faster than my nemesis.
Damn you speed walkers!
But fortunately, as we approached the halfway mark I roped in the giant heart. The fact he only appeared to slow for another Heart Foundation runner is irrelevant.
As we neared the finish line, runners who had finished their race – and had probably been home and showered, walked the dog, learned a foreign language and come back again – clapped and told me I didn’t have long to go. Irrationally, such talk normally annoys me in races. But today I grinned at them inanely – I was racing for the first time in two years and it felt good...well it felt painful but you know what I mean.
I crossed the line with a smile on my face even thought it was my slowest half marathon time ever. I was already thinking about next time and wondering how heavy a Princess Leia costume might be....”I would have come in an hour earlier, but those buns were like, sooo heavy.”